What Should I Do First After Separation?
- skye521
- Jan 2
- 4 min read
Separation is one of the most emotionally challenging experiences a person can go through. Alongside grief and uncertainty, many people feel overwhelmed by practical questions, particularly around: children, finances, and how to protect themselves during a deeply vulnerable time.
If you have recently separated (or are contemplating separation), the steps you take early can have a significant impact on both your wellbeing and your legal position.
This article outlines what to prioritise first, from a family law perspective, while also acknowledging the emotional and practical realities of separation.
Prioritise Safety, Support and Stability
If there are any concerns about safety, for you or your children, this must come first.
If you are in immediate danger, the Police should always be your first point of call. They are equipped to respond urgently and can take immediate steps to ensure safety.
Beyond emergency assistance, confidential support services are available to help you navigate what can be an incredibly difficult time:
1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 support for family violence, sexual assault and coercive control)
Lifeline – 13 11 14
Safe Steps – 1800 015 188 (Victoria)
Speaking with an experienced family lawyer early can help you understand what protective options may be available to you, when such orders are appropriate, and how they interact with parenting and property matters.
Understand What “Separation” Means Legally
Many people assume separation requires paperwork or a formal process. In Australia, separation is a legal concept, not a document.
You are considered separated when:
one party decides the relationship is over, and
that decision is communicated through words or conduct.
You can be separated even if you continue living in the same home (commonly referred to as separation under one roof), which often occurs where there are children or financial constraints.
The date of separation is important. It can affect divorce eligibility, property settlement time limits, and what evidence may later be required if matters are disputed.
Protect Your Privacy and Confidential Information
One step that is often overlooked, but critically important, is conducting a full password and digital security audit.
Following separation, it is prudent to change passwords, and opt to log-out of all devices, for banking and financial accounts, email accounts, iCloud and device logins, social media platforms, and any shared apps or cloud services.
This is particularly important once you begin communicating confidentially with your lawyer. Ensuring that no one can access your private information without your knowledge or consent protects both your personal safety and your legal position.
Contact Your Bank and Put Safeguards in Place
Even where separation remains amicable, it is sensible to contact your bank early to understand what protective measures can be implemented.
Depending on your circumstances, options may include placing limits on unilateral withdrawals from joint accounts, requiring dual authorisation for certain transactions, or restructuring accounts to ensure transparency and accountability while matters are being worked through.
These steps are about protection, not escalation, during a period of transition and ought to be assessed on a case-by-case basis.
Focus on the Children and Keep Things Child-Centred
For parents, concerns about children are often paramount. Under the family law legislation, a child’s best interests are always the primary consideration. In the early stages following separation, this often means maintaining routines where possible, safe and appropriate, minimising exposure to parental conflict, and establishing workable interim arrangements.
Early advice is critical to understand your obligations and the parameters in navigating parenting arrangements post-separation. A skilled lawyer will explore parenting plans, parenting orders and how to document arrangements in a way that protects both you and your children.
Get Clear on Expenses and Day-to-Day Financial Needs
Creating a clear picture of your ongoing expenses is another important early step. Preparing a list of all regular outgoings including housing costs, utilities, childcare, schooling, insurance and everyday living expenses, can assist in ensuring expenses are shared appropriately while longer-term property settlement negotiations are underway. This information often becomes central to interim financial arrangements and negotiations.
Child Support Considerations After Separation
Following separation, parents also need to consider child support.
There are generally three options available:
Informal child support arrangements, which can be appropriate in the immediate post-separation period where communication remains cooperative. These arrangements can be problematic if payments stop or circumstances change.
The second option is child support assessed and administered through Services Australia, which applies a formula-based assessment.
The third option is negotiating a private child support agreement, which allows parents greater flexibility to tailor arrangements to their children’s needs but requires strict legal compliance.
Early advice from an experienced family lawyer is critical to understanding which option is most appropriate, as well as the limitations and long-term implications of each approach.
Gather Important Financial Documents Early
It is also wise to begin gathering and securely storing key financial documents, including tax returns, bank and loan statements, superannuation statements, property documents and historical financial records. These documents are frequently required later during property settlement negotiations and formal disclosure processes. Locating them early can save time, stress and cost.
Avoid Rushed Decisions and Reactive Communication
In the emotional aftermath of separation, it can be tempting to act quickly or communicate reactively. From a legal perspective, this can create unnecessary risk. Avoid selling or transferring assets without advice, be cautious with written communications, and assume that emails, messages and social media posts may one day be scrutinised by lawyers or the Court. A calm, measured approach, informed by early legal advice, places you in a far stronger position.
Why Early Legal Advice Matters
Even where separation feels amicable, early legal advice is preventative, not adversarial. Understanding your rights and obligations from the outset can help you avoid costly mistakes and unnecessary conflict.
How Wylde Family Law Can Help
At Wylde Family Law, we understand that separation is not just a legal process, it is a personal one. Our approach is strategic, compassionate and grounded in practical outcomes.
We assist clients with separation advice and planning, parenting arrangements and disputes, property settlements and superannuation splitting, and early intervention to minimise conflict where possible.
An initial consultation can provide clarity around parenting, property, time limits, and the most appropriate pathway forward for your circumstances.
We assist clients in Melbourne, Geelong, and remotely across Australia.
